Robots, Life Rage And A Curious Case of Chocolate Chip Cookies

We have all heard of road rage. But how about life rage? It’s the feeling that disconnects us all from one and other.

It’s 9 am and the mega-corporate video store opens . It’s empty. It’s a time when the employees organize and check in the returned DVD’s. I like going there early as there are no lines and I can get in and out fast. I approach the counter. The lady behind it ignores me as she shuffles through the returns. “ Good morning. How are you?” I said as I handed her my selections. “Sir, please stand behind the grey line, we will call you when it’s your turn” she said . I didn’t make much of it. Even though I was the only one in the store I smiled and shrugged it off. I stepped back and sure enough after about 5 minutes, she called me up to the counter. She read some corporate script and rang up my order. It all felt very automated. The girl didn’t smile once. It seemed like someone had filed away her soul with her time card. It was sad.

Later that day I had the misfortune of finding myself at one of those mega warehouse stores. A man in a red vest approached me and informed me curtly that I was blocking the isle. There were no social niceties , no “excuse me” or “please”, not even a smile. There was just another robot spitting out commands that he hoped my processor would understand. I carefully considered how difficult it would be for this man to have asked to be of service to me? What if he asked if I needed something and then helped me find it? What if he took a moment and we were to discover a common link that made us both human? No such luck this day.

Maybe I needed to take a break and get away for a bit. That night I found myself in Barnes And Noble with a small pile of travel books and magazines. It was late and the store was empty. There was not an employee in sight. I planned on shuffling through several books quickly, making my selections and going home. I prayed that someone would eventually appear to help me out. As I sat there comfortably, I was approached by another seemingly stiff man. He hovered over me intently and whispered some strange thing into his walkie talkie. He straightened his name tag as if it was his only identifying characteristic. Then he spoke . The nearly synthesized words poured out of his robot like mouth like programming code“ This is not a library”.

“You have to be kidding “ I thought to myself. I thought at first he was joking. Then , as if someone had pushed the return button on my laptop, he spewed out the strange syntax again “ I said this is not a library.” I remember thinking to myself “Of course it’s not. Libraries are government funded and will probably actually be here 2 years from now, which I am not sure I can say for your store”. But I was silently in awe. I was certain if I listened closely I could hear the gears move inside his head. It seemed in that moment that his life was cold and without purpose. He was intent on moving through the isles of the large corporate bookstore in perfect 90° degree angles until he finally met his target: the “enemy”.

Once the target was locked in he would release his poison-like gas in the form of several well rehearsed lines of syntax hoping to destroy his target.

I remember thinking about my Kindle and how amazing it was that I could sit on my bed and download hundreds of free samples . Then with a simple push of a button I could buy any one of the books for a quarter of the price. What is even better is that I would have no Robots hovering over me. I thought about how Borders went out of business next door just months ago. I wondered how long this business would last.

How much would it have taken out of this man’s day to simply try to be of service? What would it cost him to have spoken to me like a human and offered some assistance or the slightest bit of humanness ? “ It’s free to smile” my old teacher used to always tell me. How far would have a small human gesture like a smile or the slightest notion of human compassion gone?

It was clear he assumed I was homeless and using his sacred isle as my new home. The Robot then threatened to call store security if I didn’t leave immediately. At this point I got cheeky. I smiled my most subversive smile and said loudly“ Take me to your leader” . At least in my head that’s what I said. I think in fact I said something along the lines of “Why don’t you bring your manager so you can explain to him why instead of being amiable and helpful to a loyal card carrying customer that you are being rude, disagreeable, discourteous, uncooperative, unhelpful, and just plain unpleasant. I am not getting the excellent service that’s promised right there on your name tag “Bob” and you better believe that I am the kind of person that writes letters, lots of them! What would your corporate office make of this? “ It was as if I had unleashed a bit of my own code right there. I think for the first time he realized I was not his usual homeless victim. I think I actually saw his left ear twitch. He was speechless. A small trail of smoke rose from behind his other ear. He disappeared into the back of the store and I left empty handed. I felt absolutely wiped out. I swore that I would never go back to these mega –corporate stores.

As I arrived home, I got a call. It was my neighbor whom I just met. She had baked some chocolate chip cookies and wanted me to come over to eat them. I arrived and she sat me down. We had a couple nice laughs. I had devoured half a plate of these absolutely delicious homemade cookies when I remembered abruptly that I was allergic to wheat.

After a day full of Robots, I was starved for any compassion and human interaction. I was so overwhelmed by this seemingly small human gesture that I forgot about my silly allergies. The cookies had no adverse effect on me! I was shocked.

Human interaction and compassion for the human condition is everything. Without kindness and understanding for each other, we are lost. With it we have everything we need to sustain us. I remember thinking how nice it is when we connect and relate to each other on a human level. All that corporate nonsense is bull. Consumerism is not life. Jobs are not life. Money is not life. Things are not life. Bills and car payments are not life. The first bite of that freshly baked chocolate chip cookie, made with love and served with a smile. That’s life. The kind gesture of a neighbor showed me that.

In every moment there is something to be grateful for. As I contemplated how I would suffer in the morning from my allergic reactions to the wheat, I smiled and grabbed another cookie. I figured if I was going to go out that I was going to go out blazing. Just then my neighbor looked at me and sm
iled “ You know I make these with Oats , I’m allergic to wheat”. It was a perfect end to my day. I smiled. Life is good.

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